by Benjamin A. Berliner, Esq.
Pitchers
Zach Eflin
Hand: Right
Rotation: Closer
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Orlando, Florida
Birth Year: 1994
Money: $5,550,000
Phun Phact: His older sister died of Leukemia when she was seven.
Zack Wheeler
Hand: Right
Rotation: Starter
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Smyrna, GA
Birth Year: 1990
Money: 5 year / $118,000,000
Phun Phact: During the pandemic, Zack Wheeler went on Amazon and bought a pitching net to keep his arm warm.
Aaron Nola
Hand: Right
Rotation: Starter
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Baton Rouge, LA
Birth Year: 1993
Money: 4 year / $45,000,000 and a $2,000,000 signing bonus.
Phun Phact: Has a brother, Austin Nola, who plays for the San Diego Padres.
Ranger Suárez
Hand: Right
Rotation: Starter
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Pie de Cuesta, Venezuela
Birth Year: 1995
Money: $730,000
Phun Phact: He is the first player in MLB history to be named Ranger.
José Alvarado
Hand: Left
Rotation: Relief
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Maracaibo, Zulia, Venezuela
Birth Year: 1995
Money: $1,900,000
Phun Phact: He likes to hunt 3-foot iguanas and paca, with a slingshot. Paca are ground-dwelling, herbivorous rodents living in Central and South America.
Seranthony Domínguez
Hand: Right
Rotation: Relief
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Esperanza, Dominican Republic
Birth Year: 1994
Money: $725,000
Phun Phact: Seranthony does not know where his name comes from, but suspects his parents came up with it from watching TV.
Starting Lineup
Kyle Schwarber
Bats: Left
Position: Left Field
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Middletown, OH
Birth Year: 1993
Money: Four year, $79,000,000
Phun Phact: In highschool, he played linebacker for the football team and sang in the show choir.
Rhys Hoskins
Bats: Right
Position: First Base
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Sacramento, CA
Birth Year: 1993
Money: $7,700,000
Phun Phact: When he was two, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She ultimately succumbed to the disease when he was 16.
J.T. Realmuto
Bats: Right
Position: Catcher
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Del City, OK
Birth Year: 1991
Money: Five year / $115,500,000
Phun Phact: He is indisputably the best catcher in baseball.
Bryce Harper
Bats: Left (throws right)
Position: DH
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Las Vegas, NV
Birth Year: 1992
Money: 13 year / $330,000,000
Phun Phact: He’s a Mormon, but admitted to sometimes drinking a little coffee during the season.
Nick Castellanos
Bats: Right
Position: Right Field
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Davie, FL
Birth Year: 1992
Money: Five year / $100,000,000
Phun Phact: In 2017, his father was diagnosed with brain cancer.
Alec Bohm
Bats: Right
Position: Third Base
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Omaha, NE
Birth Year: 1996
Money: $715,000
Phun Phact: Bohm said, “I fucking hate this place” to Didi Gregorius after committing three errors in one game against the Mets in 2022. He later apologized.
Jean Segura
Bats: Right
Position: Second Base
Birthplace and/or Hometown: San Juan, Dominican Republic
Birth Year: 1990
Money: Five year / $70,000,000
Phun Phact: He has one simple tattoo on his right forearm, but has two nicknames: Seggy, and El Mambo.
Not-so Phun Phact: He had a child from a previous relationship die at 9-months, causing him to almost quit baseball.
Bryson Stott
Bats: Left (throws Right)
Position: Shortstop
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Las Vegas, NV
Birth Year: 1997
Money: $700,000
Phun Phact: Bryson Stott puts Ranch dressing on his ice cream.
Matt Vierling
Bats: Right
Position: Centerfield
Birthplace and/or Hometown: St. Louis, MO
Birth Year: 1996
Money: $704,000
Phun Phact: His younger brother, Mark, played college baseball for St. Louis University in 2022 after transferring from University of Missouri. In the summer of 2021, he played in the MLB Draft League for the State College Spikes.
Edmundo Sosa
Bats: Right
Position: Centerfield
Birthplace and/or Hometown: Panama City, Panama
Birth Year: 1996
Money: $715,600
Phun Phact: Despite sharing the same last name, Edmundo is NOT related to Sammy. Sammy is from the DR, Edmundo is from Panama.
Brandon Marsh
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